Praise Mediocrity! $100 Billion Ab InBev, SABMiller Merger Approved By Shareholders

by Ryan Hudak on Sep 29, 2016 in Beer

Mimicking my thought process at a Chinese buffet, Anheuser-Busch InBev is making a massive push towards “quantity over quality” with a $100 billion acquisition of SABMiller.  This will give the massive company control of 27% of global watered-down beer production, which is a level of mediocrity heretofore unseen in the beer world.

In order to appease international regulators and avoid monopolizing the "shitty beer" industry, the company had to sell off some of its brands before the sale would be approved by its shareholders.  It reads like the domestic and international beer list at your local Applebee’s: Molson Coors will take over AB’s 58% interest in MillerCoors, LLC (giving the company 100% control), and Asahi Group will take over global rights to Peroni and Grolsch.  AB InBev will also sell off what would probably be its finest macro-pilsner, Pilsner Urquell.

What does this mean for the future of beer in our beloved country?  Probably not much.  This massive new venture will continue to churn out sub-par beer, but will focus on expanding in other underserved countries, especially targeting a growing market in Africa.  Other than buying up craft breweries here and there instead of trying to make good beer themselves—things will probably remain relatively unchanged. 

Additionally, chances are if you’re reading a site like this, you’re probably not drinking a whole lot of Bud Light anyway.  So keep doing the lord’s work and drinking local craft beer.  Fight the good fight, and maybe once the rest of the world catches on, this brewing behemoth will collapse under the weight of its own bloated beer belly.  Unless Africa really likes Lime-A-Ritas.  That’s when we should start to worry.

Photo via Flickr user Thomas Hawk


Tags: Beer, News
Recent Articles
spacer

Feedback

How are we doing? Tell us what you like or don't like and how we can improve. We would love to hear your thoughts!

*Name:
*E-mail:
*Suggestions:
 
Vodka-Infused Chocolate is Here to Ruin Your New Year's Resolutions

Vodka-Infused Chocolate is Here to Ruin Your New Year's Resolutions

The adult candy company, Sugarfina, is behind this sinful creation of vodka-infused chocolate cordials, and th...read more ›

by Jessie Donofrio Jan 10, 2018
'World's Most Expensive' Vodka Bottle Stolen, Later Found Empty

'World's Most Expensive' Vodka Bottle Stolen, Later Found Empty

The bar world was shaken last week when a bottle of vodka, reportedly the most expensive in the world at $1.3 million, was stolen from Cafe 33, a bar ...read more ›

by Alexander Frane Jan 9, 2018
Hangover-Free Cannabis Wine Now Being Sold in California

Hangover-Free Cannabis Wine Now Being Sold in California

Rebel Coast Winery was ready for California's change in legislation, as their marijuana-infused sauvignon blanc hit the shelves as the clock struck mi...read more ›

by Jessie Donofrio Jan 3, 2018
SPONSORED
Visit Drink Baltimore on Your Phone
A New Study Shows that Wine Glasses Are Getting Bigger and Bigger

A New Study Shows that Wine Glasses Are Getting Bigger and Bigger

Good news for winos: a new study from the University of Cambridge says that the size of a standard wine glass is a full seven times larger than it was...read more ›

by The Drink Nation Jan 3, 2018
Hero Kiwis Built an Island in New Zealand For a New Year's Eve Party

Hero Kiwis Built an Island in New Zealand For a New Year's Eve Party

A group of New Zealanders in the town of Tairua on the Coromandel peninsula rang in the New Year in the best w...read more ›

by Alexander Frane Jan 3, 2018
Head to These 2018 Winter Festivals & Events in Baltimore

Head to These 2018 Winter Festivals & Events in Baltimore

Winter brings all of the regular events that inspire imbibing - Superbowl, St. Patrick's Day, and, well, Valentine's Day. But there are plenty of othe...read more ›

by Jennifer Waldera Jan 3, 2018
Where to Ring in 2018 in Baltimore

Where to Ring in 2018 in Baltimore

From hotels to Power Plant to the Inner Harbor, there is no shortage of enormous NYE celebrations around Baltimore....read more ›

by Jennifer Waldera Dec 27, 2017
Behind the Bar: Jimmy Russell, Master Distiller of Wild Turkey for Over 63 Years

Behind the Bar: Jimmy Russell, Master Distiller of Wild Turkey for Over 63 Years

In this installment of Behind the Bar, The Drink Nation had the unique opportunity to chat with Jimmy Russell,...read more ›

by The Drink Nation Dec 20, 2017
These Baltimore Bars are Open on Christmas Day

These Baltimore Bars are Open on Christmas Day

Most bars around town will be open at some point (one of Charm City's most charming qualities, right?) but here are a few to rely on....read more ›

by Jennifer Waldera Dec 19, 2017
Warm Up With These Hot Drinks This Winter in Baltimore

Warm Up With These Hot Drinks This Winter in Baltimore

Cider, coffee, eggnog, and even butter have never had better boozy accompaniments than they've found in these Baltimore beverages that will help you g...read more ›

by Jennifer Waldera Dec 12, 2017
SPONSORED
View all Articles

Sign up to get weekly drinking news, bar reviews, events and more sent directly to your inbox!

Close