Things No One Asked For: The Hydrasatch, A Satchel Bag That Holds Mixed Drinks

by Ryan Hudak on Jul 18, 2017 in Culture

There’s more good news out there for all those people who can’t possibly be without alcohol at their sides at all times—the HydraSatch is now available for all your outdoor activities.  Much like commercials for Valtrex will get you back out into the woods or on your kayak without your herpes flaring up, the HydraSatch will get you to all your outdoor activities without your pesky soberness getting in the way.

In the product’s promotional video, posted ahead of their Kickstarter going live, the HydraSatch comes off as an outdoorsy, yet fancy, way to always keep alcohol no more than three feet from your mouth.  Because, you see, this isn’t just to hold beer or wine like some kind of garbage person.  The HydraSatch is meant to hold your favorite cocktail—something you put time into, something that takes care to mix and complete.  And then you put it in a purse and wear it for a few hours.
 

The HydraSatch looks like the lamest satchel possible, which won’t do you any favors when you slam into a tree because you went hurtling down a mountain on your snowboard while drunk on a purse full of gin and tonic.  The video also hints that you could take it into a sporting event, with a shot of AT&T Park in San Francisco, followed by a sign that says “no alcohol beyond this point” and someone walking through unimpeded with their HydraSatch on.  Because security at a sporting event definitely won’t check your bag—especially one with a hose coming out of it.

As much fun as it might sound to get sauced on a hike in the middle of the woods or to try to see how much your 5K will benefit from booze, you should probably stick to drinking your alcohol from a glass or mug like a functioning adult member of society.  And if the thought of having to wait until you’re done with your walk around town to drink gives you the sweats, keep an eye out for their Kickstarter, and be sure to top off the drink in your hand right now.  It’s getting dangerously low.

Photo via HydraSatch on Facebook

Recent Articles
spacer

Feedback

How are we doing? Tell us what you like or don't like and how we can improve. We would love to hear your thoughts!

*Name:
*E-mail:
*Suggestions:
 
Things No One Asked For: Prosecco Donuts

Things No One Asked For: Prosecco Donuts

In case you were tired of drinking Prosecco the regular way, a New York bakery has introduced a new way to imbibe it: a Prosecco donut....read more ›

by Ryan Hudak Aug 8, 2017
Head to These Baltimore Bars for National Rum Day, August 16

Head to These Baltimore Bars for National Rum Day, August 16

What better way is there to celebrate National Rum Day, which is on August 16, than sipping on the summer spirit at these spots known for their select...read more ›

by Jennifer Waldera Aug 8, 2017
This New York Winery is Producing a Rose-Inspired Gin

This New York Winery is Producing a Rose-Inspired Gin

Can't decide between a gin & tonic and a glass of rose? Thanks to Wolffer Estate Vineyard's newest gin release, you don't have to choose....read more ›

by The Drink Nation Aug 8, 2017
SPONSORED
Visit Drink Baltimore on Your Phone
Since Humans Aren't Creative Enough, Robots May Be Naming Our Beers Soon

Since Humans Aren't Creative Enough, Robots May Be Naming Our Beers Soon

Research scientist Janelle Shane decided to take matters into her own hands - well actually, the hands of robo...read more ›

by Jessie Donofrio Aug 8, 2017
Here's Where You'll Be Celebrating National Rye Month in Baltimore

Here's Where You'll Be Celebrating National Rye Month in Baltimore

Brown liquor is often associated with cooler temps and fireside imbibing, but Rye Month just happens to fall i...read more ›

by Jennifer Waldera Aug 1, 2017
Guillermo del Toro and Patron Tequila Collaboration Release

Guillermo del Toro and Patron Tequila Collaboration Release

Guillermo del Toro, Mexican writer, designer, and director for films such as Pan's Labyrinth and Hellboy, is working with Patron Tequila on a new expr...read more ›

by Alexander Frane Aug 1, 2017
Things No One Asked For: The Wine Necklace

Things No One Asked For: The Wine Necklace

Drinking wine can be such a hassle. First, you have to hold the glass in your hand like some kind of animal. Then, if you want to do something with ...read more ›

by Ryan Hudak Aug 1, 2017
Beer Brand Aurosa Makes Beer 'For Women,' Women Say They Already Have a Beer, and It's Called Beer

Beer Brand Aurosa Makes Beer 'For Women,' Women Say They Already Have a Beer, and It's Called Beer

Throw away your beer stash ladies, because a Czech beer company has made the only beer we will need. The compa...read more ›

by Jessie Donofrio Aug 1, 2017
Great American Beer Festival Tickets Go on Sale August 1-2

Great American Beer Festival Tickets Go on Sale August 1-2

The Great American Beer Festival will take place in Denver at the Colorado Convention Center Thursday through Saturday, October 5-7....read more ›

by Carrie Dow Jul 26, 2017
According to Wall Street, Millennials Are Choosing Wine Over Beer

According to Wall Street, Millennials Are Choosing Wine Over Beer

The American financier Goldman Sachs downgraded the stocks of the Boston Beer Company and Constellation Brands this week due to 'sluggish' beer sales ...read more ›

by Jessie Donofrio Jul 25, 2017
SPONSORED
View all Articles

Sign up to get weekly drinking news, bar reviews, events and more sent directly to your inbox!

Close